Think positive*

I must have hit right on my stress-full ENOUGH-FOR-NOW button.With only two ears and one brain to absorb all advices i can, but here i am, getting no where.Here goes my family each with different opinions of what i should do.When i finally thought through the whole of yesterday night of how interested i might be in designing animation and how interesting it would be to learn a new skill.But the fun and excitement that began to set in were soon sent out by all of your voices.I can't even hear my inner voice now that it is muffled by others.I don't know what i want now , what to do. This online appeal thing is really getting on me ,now that i have applied DAE and i just realised that they won't accept those who already hold a position in any polytechnic.I can't reject my current course online , and seeing that there is only two working days to do so.Without even knowing whether yesterday should be counted as one working day and today as another one,I really have no idea what to do.
I am really exhausted from working and stressing my damn brain.

I am so scared now ,i don't know maybe this is over reacting and yet when i hope i could find encouragement and strength in you .You did perk me up but your very last sentence made me really very upset.So actually ,me being so frustrated is making you frustrated as well .I thought you would be the one telling me everything is gonna be alright but i guess the most you could do was raise your voice a little and showed me how irritated you were too . It really hurt ,and now i just want to say good night.

& just like the title , think positive.Maybe i shouldn't even be here kicking a fuss up.
MFY training and gym




I feel like a red bar battery now,super low batt ,like i gonna shut off anytime.Today had MFY training at Bukit Panjang Plaza for like half of my day.It was fun but real tiring and near evening someone by the name of SEAN TING that so wanted to go to gym got me there as well.I did some sets of crunches and ran like not even 1 km .Hahas ,and i guessed i was really reluctant to go in the first place.I dragged myself back home and i took some time to really walk from the station to my house.I was really damn full when we left New York Pizza and Sean don't blame me for not finishing it and wasting a so called treat that I made you pay for .Haha.You won't imagine that i just eaten a plate of rice back at home again.

Sean , so this is what u said in your blog and you seriously need some smackings."
Cause all i got is a puny minion girl. What can she help me? No strength to help also. No supports. Quite difficult to train." Wow wow wow , hahas so i wasn't of any usage ,thats very very mean of you.Many regrets of accompanying you man.

I feel like a dead horse now.I want to go lie down and rest.Please be back from your 3d/2n field trip soon alright? I bet you miss the stars at Tekong ,thats the place you told me that i should go to because it has the nicest brightest starlight sky that i would definitely like .Me being one that never seen that before sure miss the imagination more than you do.Take care a lot ,this song through the years is for you when that someday comes and you come upon this blog.Although these might not have been exactly like what we were ,I hope one day like what the lyrics mean that i would never have a doubt that we won't be able to work things out.Just take some time to listen to this song,it won't hurt your ears.

Ich liebe dich


Off to bed.
Annoyed and anot*

I had the sun today ,more freckles and frustration.When it comes to you , i guess anger always come with sadness in a package.I will start with me , that i should never pull the past into my brain whenever you make me feel inferior.Because definitely it will just bring me more sadness and make me uncertain of everything you do.I probably just wanted myself to prove that everything that you didn't do wasn't for your very own selfish desires or any other reasons.I hate to prove myself right because
in the end the thing that got hurt is that trying to solidify heart of mine.

I guess Si Min ,you are right i am just too soft hearted.This i know i hate myself because i will never walk away no matter how sad i am.Like today ,it's like i should not have gone all the way to your house despite feeling like a fool.But still i did ,although i know i won't be talking to you and you will just be like a glass door standing in front of me.You always say the right words to make my anger recede no matter how i held on to it.It's the first time you cook me dinner and i am really touched although your bro did help you a little.

And i'm sorry for making you feel awkward in front of your family.

I've held regrets for the journey but not the destination.
The so advance doggy laptop bag




Proudly presenting the doggy laptop bag that i bought for $75.90 when i don't even have a laptop yet.Too anxious for one that i will go look for one someday this month.
Thanks Emily i really appreciate the leather bag that you bought for me .
Fruitful Off day
Went for dental appointment today , whee i don't have to go back again till next year , only the part about traveling all the way to NYP was wasted.I was told to fill in the JAE on the website , which was what i already did yesterday night.
Look, my body's all red and dark now ,I went tanning in the noon at Yio Chu Kang complex while waiting for Si Min to finish school.Before she even came over,i took a break.Phew * the sun is really scorching today,i couldn't stand the intense sun rays anymore.I was tossing and turning on the ,eh what do you call it a sun tan chair ? LOL
We chatted a bit ,swam like few laps before the sky turn dark and went to get changed. Guess what happens when we stepped out the sun was back to normal , how weird huh? This is the second time that it has happen whenever you came hahas.I bet you offended the Sun in some way :D

Did some shopping with her at Bishan J8, wanted to go down to orchard but i assumed we don't really have a lot of time to spare since she is having school tomorrow.Have to go my bro wants the com.

close my tired eyes.
Bad start on a Monday

Monday has deeply de-moralised me and with today's JAE result out ,

MOE:Congrats GIAN WAN NING GRACE,you are posted to NANYANG POLY,DIGITAL MEDIA DESIGN(84)under 2008 JAE.

this was really depressing ,who would have known that i was so unlucky to get my last choice.I have spent my day thinking ,i don't want to be designing games or anything for my future.I guess i would do it only for a hobby.Now i am left with two choices,one is to appeal,the other is to accept which i find it really hard too.Forget it i will leave it to God,if it really is Digital Media Design,i will let it be then.

Make it short on what had happen on Monday , I gave this crew a drawer and she brought it into the crew room to count.After which she came out telling me that money was missing.I counted it and found out that 50 bucks was missing.I had counted the drawer three times before i handed it to her and how could i miss counting 50 dollars?At first i tried hard to put it simpler , i check all of the drawers including my safe, nope to no valid was the money to be found.

Ahhhh , i tell u it really spoiled my day.I had to stay till 8 when i was suppose to
finish work at 5.I blamed myself for not watching her under surveillance and not having enough knowledge of my job now.It really made me feel so lousy.

I am gonna be fine , and it will be. Look forward to appealing and tanning tomorrow.



PS , I love you*


I think today have been a rather memorable day for me despite just sleeping for 3 hours yesterday just for decorating the so-called card.The moment i enjoyed most was the one when we lie on the bed to read PS.I LOVE YOU book together :) I din't know he was like more tired then me after the book ,my eyes wanted to continue sleeping too but I managed to get a hold of my eyes.The countless attempts of trying to pull him out of his slumber is often stopped by the sound of his wheezing breathing.Still ,i woke him up ,because i really don't want to have no time for the movie PS.I LOVE YOU.The sight of him sleeping now makes me wanna giggle.Anyway I still hope he really appreciate the KENYA jacket even though i know he likes the BAHAMAS one.When my next pay period comes , i should go get one for myself too.

After he booked in , i went over to royce's house to join my classmates.There's so many things that i wished i could do and go all the time.I am having a better view of
how i prioritize my life now.Whenever i reflect i see things that don't seem right.

Love makes a person childish ,brain stuck,unable to move.Alright Love controls the body.

Hmmms i know my gifts will be chuck around in someplace,someday.But all i wish is at least one day when u see the dust that gathers around and think back of old times ,you will
remember me still.
Please don't forget the presents i gave you again.The white shirt with red design was for last christmas.

I think i will love you again and again everyday.

Love you till the end

I just want to see you
When youre all alone
I just want to catch you if I can
I just want to be there
When the morning light explodes
On your face it radiates
I cant escape
I love you till the end

I just want to tell you nothing
You dont want to hear
All I want is for you to say
Why dont you just take me
Where Ive never been before
I know you want to hear me
Catch my breath
I love you till the end

I just want to be there
When were caught in the rain
I just want to see you laugh not cry
I just want to feel you
When the night puts on its cloak
Im lost for words dont tell me
All I can say
I love you till the end

Labels: for you

Broke and tired

Si Min ,many thanks for accompanying me and waiting for me to make up my choice of which to buy.

Yesterday I went to Bugis with Si Min to do some shopping.After much consideration and trying in the changing room as if the jacket was for me,lols i decided to get the kenya jacket.Somehow i have a bad feeling when i knew there's wasn't M size for the Bahamas one.I figured out that he will like it better then Kenya.Anyway i hope he still likes it.Although I have figured out that he will tell me that he like it at that moment he received it.When prompted i guess he will still want Bahamas.Haha.

Now i am really broke ,If i hadn't worked at Grassroot for today i would have to rack my brains on how to top up my ez-link card.Dear pay ,please come in quickly before I have to use coins for bus ride for the next few days.One of these days more crowfeets will be stretching along my eyes and i will definitely look like a panda soon.Alright I have been working since morning ,i need to go get some sleep to replenish the previous day's sleep too.Good night.
weekends come and go *

I just came back from Zi Qiang 's house with my 4th bro , to my surprise i saw Ming Hui's sister .What a small world to know that she was a friend of Zi Qiang.Anyway lucky no money was involved because we were in a tag team, me and 4th bro were losing away our majong chips.How do 8 person squeeze around one majong table and at the same time with 4 person playing cards and the other 4 playing "DAI DI". Thats how we played ,bet nobody can imagine them.Surely this was one new invention haha.

I should be glad you went to meet Chit Loong they all and left me behind , maybe this is a blessing in disguise although i couldn't wipe away that sad feeling.For not telling me that we weren't going to Chit's house and going to Bugis with your friends while i was on my way down to AMK.The thing that made me angry i guess was not informing me firsthand and having me myself find out where you were through Chit Loong.Because you could have simply sent a sms to me to let me know earlier on.

Enough for now ,this will just make feel useless.
Sunday shopping :)

Eventually i waited for him to ring me but he din't yesterday ,never mind it's too short a story to spoil my day.And i guess everytime the word sorry came out of his mouth , it's like my heart go softer.Someone ,tell me to become more hard-hearted.Should i always be the one by the phone waiting for him to decide on what to do tomorrow.Maybe thats why I am feeling this way.Nvm.

Anyway today I met out with him , we went to Queensway with Chit Loong and Michelle :) It was all nice and he got himself an SUPER DUPER ORANGEYY pair of nike shoes :/ aww no matter how much i said he still bought it and so did Chit Loong.I wonder what got into their minds.

still...

I guess its fine as long as he likes it ,I like it when we were at IKEA , he got a lot of food for US , maybe him but we couldn't finish it in the end.The way he eats so hungrily ,one hand with the chicken wing the other one swirling the spagetti.Yummy.

After that he got to book in.I went to join Cheun Leong ,Tracy and Nick :)at Jurong Point.He dropped me with the rocky pickup lorry at Jurong East Station and i took the train to Boon lay ,so embarrassing when i called Tracy up to ask where was the place because i didn't really remember where i saw Jurong Point that time.Lol ok fruitful shopping trip to me :) i got two sets of that :) happified* I am looking forward to seeing him.Come out quickly !


You can only learn to love by loving .